I Hate Staggered Releases

So you’re waiting for a book to come out and you’ve been waiting months. You’re so eager you check the release date online only to figure out……it’s been out for a month already! Quickly you seek out your book vendor of choice and find your quarry waiting for you. Your mouse hovers over the button that will bring the magic words to you when you notice something…….it’s the audio book version. Dismayed at nearly being forced to listen to those golden words when your eyes hunger for so much more. In your righteous fury you unintentionally smash the mouse button disturbingly hard sending plushies, children and small animals fleeing in terror. Your eyes rest upon the eBook version still two months distant. A dread begins to sink deep into your soul.

It couldn’t be. They wouldn’t do that to us. Us! We who have supported and sustained the brilliant bringers of godly literary sustenance.

At last your eyes rest on the fateful words. Hardcover release in 4 months. A guttural cry rises up from some nearby monster, when you realize it’s coming from your own lips. You are empty inside. Devoid of all thought and emotion. An eternity passes, drifting in the void when at last a red tide of razor sharp focus and indignation rushes into the void. Then and there you vow never to bask in the charlatans grace or drink the quack’s snake oil.

At least until the end of the series.

I Hate Staggered Releases

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